weekly recap
making peace with the messy parts
This week wasn’t easy.
Some weeks are easy to summarize. You can point to a milestone, a celebration, or an accomplishment and neatly package everything into a lesson learned.
This wasn’t one of those weeks.
This week felt slower.
Heavier.
The kind of week that asks more questions than it answers.
I’ve spent a lot of time applying for jobs lately, trying to figure out what my life looks like after graduation. Every application feels like an act of hope, but also an exercise in patience.
There’s a strange vulnerability in putting yourself out there over and over again.
Sending in applications.
Waiting for responses.
Trying not to tie your worth to whether someone calls back.
I’m learning that those are two very different things.
At the same time, I’ve been trying to reconnect with parts of myself that got pushed aside during my final semester.
One of those things has been reading.
Lately, I’ve found myself returning to books not because I have to read them for class, but because I genuinely want to. After years of reading for assignments, deadlines, and discussion posts, it feels different to read simply because a story speaks to me.
It’s been a reminder that not everything needs to be productive to be valuable.
Some things are valuable simply because they make us feel more connected to ourselves.
But if I’m being honest, reading has also become a place of refuge.
A place to sit with questions instead of trying to solve them.
Because this week, I’ve been processing memories I thought I had already moved past.
The funny thing about healing is that it doesn’t always happen when we’re ready for it.
Sometimes it waits until life gets quiet.
Sometimes it waits until the deadlines are gone.
Until the distractions fade.
Until there’s enough space for us to hear ourselves think.
Graduation created that kind of space.
For years, I was focused on surviving semesters, balancing responsibilities, and reaching the next milestone. Now that those things are behind me, old memories have started resurfacing.
Conversations I haven’t thought about in years.
Experiences I convinced myself I had already made peace with.
Versions of myself I had to become just to make it through certain seasons.
And while I’m grateful for how far I’ve come, revisiting those memories hasn’t been easy.
There were moments this week when I wanted to escape the discomfort.
Moments when I understood how tempting it can be to reach for something—anything—that promises temporary relief from difficult emotions.
But I’ve also spent a lot of time thinking about the life I’m trying to build.
Not just professionally.
Personally.
Emotionally.
Spiritually.
I’m building a future that I want to be fully present for.
A future that includes meaningful work, deeper relationships, creative projects, new opportunities, and a version of myself that isn’t constantly running from her own feelings.
I’ve worked too hard to become this version of myself to abandon her when things get difficult.
So instead of running, I’ve been trying to stay.
I’ve been reading.
Journaling.
Taking walks.
Applying for jobs.
Giving myself permission to feel what I feel without immediately trying to fix it.
And while that hasn’t made everything easier, it has made me feel more honest.
More grounded.
More connected to myself.
This week reminded me that growth isn’t always visible.
Sometimes it doesn’t look like a degree, a job offer, or a major accomplishment.
Sometimes growth looks like choosing yourself.
Choosing healing.
Choosing to sit with difficult emotions instead of numbing them.
Choosing to believe that even on hard days, you’re still worthy of grace.
So that’s where I am right now.
Applying.
Reading.
Reflecting.
Healing.
Learning that uncertainty doesn’t mean failure.
Learning that difficult weeks are still part of the journey.
Learning that becoming the person you want to be often requires meeting yourself exactly where you are.
And maybe that’s enough for now.
🎧 soundtrack pairing
“Queen” — Jessie J
This week’s lesson wasn’t about confidence in the traditional sense.
It wasn’t about having all the answers.
It wasn’t about feeling strong every moment of every day.
It was about remembering my worth even when life feels uncertain.
Queen reminds me that self-worth isn’t something we earn through achievement, productivity, or perfection.
It’s something we carry with us, even in seasons of doubt.
Even while we’re healing.
Even while we’re waiting.
Even while we’re figuring things out.
This week wasn’t about having all the answers.
It was about remembering that I’m still a queen while I search for them. 👑✨
The Scholars Soundtrack
notes from the in-between; life after college—before it makes sense
If you’re navigating a season of uncertainty, healing, or becoming, I hope you give yourself the same grace you’re so willing to give everyone else.